somehow im always finding myself not being the first to know things. you’d think because i was the girlfriend i’d know first hand. but no, first come his other admirers. cool. yeah, maybe im tripping. whateverr.

being in the middle and people from all directions are tugging, pulling your arm in need for your help. thats exactly how i feel right now. there’s my family at home in LA. my moms wasting money on renovating a bathroom and the garage. i go home there’s nothing to eat. my brothers are texting me hungry. i wish i was at home to help but no im stuck in Whittier. there’s my boyfriend, with a job but without a car. ive been his means of transportation. schools out, its summertime and i had plans to go home. every time i go im constantly being asked when are you coming home. i see the need for me to be at home to help my mom cook and clean. she has a trigger finger and cant do much. yet she does all she can because no one will do it or help her. then there’s my friends from Whittier and back home who i havent seen or talk to in awhile and miss me. they’re constantly asking me when we’re gunna kick it and by the time im available i have no money to kick it. 
okay, maybe they dont necessarily need my help, but i wanna help. i feel the pressure to help. idk what to do. im always tryna do everything for everyone. tryna be superwoman and shit. but im not.